Warning: TMI

You have been warned! This blog post is going to give a lot of honest information.

For those of you who do not know, in early pregnancy loss, there are a few options of passing the mass. In my case, I chose to use a pill to get the process started. Because of my career, I wanted to make sure that the mass would pass when I was at home. Using the pill gave me some control of the time frame for the passing with a shorter recovery time. Before I inserted the pills, the doctor did another ultrasound to confirm that there was no heartbeat. I was warned that the cramping and bleeding could happen an hour after inserting the pills. I took Ibuprofen to help with the cramping pain when I got home. That evening we stayed in and watched television. The cramping was very uncomfortable and made it difficult to sleep the first night. I was hoping that the mass would pass before bed because I had work the next day, but it did not. I woke up the next morning and took a shower. While I was showering, the mass came out. It was obvious that it was the sac. It was the size of a flattened golf ball. Tears started streaming down my face as I watched it go down the drain. That was not what I expected and it is something that is not easy to describe. When I got out of the shower and told my hubby the details, we discussed again how this was in God’s hands and when the time is right, we will get pregnant. That day I bled a lot. And did I mention that when going through this you cannot wear tampons due to infections? The pads were massive. I felt like I was wearing a diaper all day long. Majority of women bleed for two weeks, but me? the bleeding lasted 3 weeks. That was 3 weeks of wearing pads. I felt dirty. It was uncomfortable. I was not a fan.

One week following the appointment, I went in for another ultrasound to make sure everything that needed to pass, passed. I got the green light that everything came out. Then, I went back one more time a week after that to make sure that there was no scarring or clotting. I got another green light. I also got the green light for trying to conceive again, although I was still bleeding. Pads + blood = not sexy at all. Emotionally we were ready to start trying again, but physically…not so much.

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